Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

Ambrose Bierce

The future is that period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured.

Ambrose Bierce

Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

Ambrose Bierce

Patriotism is fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave, blind as a stone and as irrational as a headless hen.

Ambrose Bierce

A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing

Ambrose Bierce

WEATHER,†The climate of an hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons†whom it does not interest, but who have inherited the tendency to chatter about it from naked arboreal ancestors whom it keenly concerned. The setting up of official weather bureaus and their maintenance in mendacity prove that even governments are accessible to suasion by the rude forefathers of the jungle

Ambrose Bierce

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

Ambrose Bierce

FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

Ambrose Bierce

The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.

Ambrose Bierce

DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.

Ambrose Bierce

ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.

Ambrose Bierce

Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

Ambrose Bierce

Responsibility: A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.

Ambrose Bierce

Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.

Ambrose Bierce

HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.

Ambrose Bierce

History is an account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

Ambrose Bierce
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