Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.

Ambrose Bierce

WINE and Fermented grape-juice known to the Womens Christian Union as liquor, sometimes as rum. Wine, madam, is Gods next best gift to man.

Ambrose Bierce

PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by pressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

Ambrose Bierce

A body of water occupying two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.

Ambrose Bierce

Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.

Ambrose Bierce

Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder.

Ambrose Bierce

RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.

Ambrose Bierce

As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witchcraft and executed was without a flaw; it is still unimpeachable. The judges' decisions based on it were sound in logic and in law. Nothing in any existing court was ever more thoroughly proved than the charges of witchcraft and sorcery for which so many suffered death. If there were no witches, human testimony and human reason are alike destitute of value.

Ambrose Bierce

MORAL, adj. Conforming to a local and mutable standard of right. Having the quality of general expediency.

Ambrose Bierce

Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.

Ambrose Bierce

Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.

Ambrose Bierce

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

Ambrose Bierce

Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.

Ambrose Bierce

Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forego.

Ambrose Bierce

Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth.

Ambrose Bierce

REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.

Ambrose Bierce
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