~ Philosophy, n. A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing ~
~ Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook. ~
~ Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. ~
~ OATH, n. In law, a solemn appeal to the Deity, made binding upon the conscience by a penalty for perjury. ~
~ Romance is the fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of things as they are. In the novel the writer's thought is tethered to probability, but in romance it ranges at will over the entire region of the imagination ~
~ Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for. ~
~ The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog. ~
~ Conservative: a statesman who is enamoured of existing evils, as istinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others. ~
~ Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient. ~
~ Lawyer, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law. ~
~ Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen. ~
~ Egotist: A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me. ~
~ Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends. ~
~ Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills ~
~ Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age. ~
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