Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for. The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog. Conservative: a statesman who is enamoured of existing evils, as istinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others. Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient. Lawyer, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law. Egotism, n: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen. Egotist: A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me. Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends. Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age. Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intimate when he is rich and famous Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. Admiration. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later. Abstainer, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. Most Popular Topics:
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