Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
If a white man falls off a chair drunk, it's just a drunk. If a Negro does, it's the whole damn Negro race.
The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.
For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
We’re the geniuses of the house because only a person intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.
Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
The childless experts on child raising also bring tears of laughter to my eyes when they say, \"I love children because they\'re so honest.\" There is not an agent in the CIA or the KGB who knows how to conceal the theft of food, how to fake being asleep, or how to forge a parent\'s signature like a child.
Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.
Advertising is the most fun you can have with your clothes on.
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts to grow.
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.