If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
Weekends do not count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless
I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.
When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
It's a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it's light out.
I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?