~ Talking about golf is always boring. Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart. ~  ~ Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world. ~ ~ You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment ~ ~ Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear ~ ~ User, n. The word computer professionals use when they mean "idiot." ~ ~ You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. ~ ~ Albert Einstein, who discovered that a tiny amount of mass is equal to a huge amount of energy, which explains why, as Einstein himself so eloquently put it in a famous 1939 speech to the Physics Department at Princeton, You have to exercise for a week to work off the thigh fat from a single Snickers. ~ ~ In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid. ~ ~ If wishes were horses, there would be an easy explanation for all this horseshit ~ ~ If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. ~ ~ We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective. ~ ~ Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. ~ ~ We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it ~ ~ The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot. ~ ~ It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta. ~ Most Popular Topics:
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 | Dave Barry Quotes |
Here in this page you can find quotes by Dave Barry. Our quote collection contains sayings of Plato to Anthory Robins, Confucious to Einstein. Get inspired by these words of wisdom. For motivation quotes on a specific topics go to our home page. In addition to the free collection of quotations,finestquotes offers inspirational wallpapers for your PC.
