Dave Barry Quotes

The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

Dave Barry

Winter's here, and you feel lousy: You're coughing and sneezing; your muscles ache; your nose is an active mucus volcano. These symptoms -- so familiar at this time of year -- can mean only one thing: Tiny fanged snails are eating your brain.

Dave Barry

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Dave Barry

I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to.

Dave Barry

A sense of humor is a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason. Laughter is how we express the anxiety we feel at this knowledge.

Dave Barry

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