Erma BomBeck Quotes

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

Erma Bombeck

It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of supersophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.

Erma Bombeck

We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.

Erma Bombeck

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated

Erma Bombeck

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television.

Erma Bombeck

How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?

Erma Bombeck

Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.

Erma Bombeck

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.

Erma Bombeck

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.

Erma Bombeck

When humor goes, there goes civilization.

Erma Bombeck

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food.

Erma Bombeck

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

Erma Bombeck
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