Erma Bombeck Quotes
The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.



Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.



It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of supersophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.



We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.



Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.



In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television.



How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?



Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.



Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.



Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.



When humor goes, there goes civilization.



I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food.



Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.








A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z