~ Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. ~
~ Food is an important part of a balanced diet. ~
~ Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass. ~
~ The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one's soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive--you are leaking. ~
~ Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. ~
~ Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met. ~
~ Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep. ~
~ Food is an important part of a balanced diet. ~
~ My favorite animal is steak. ~
~ Large, naked raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who lie in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter. ~
~ Food is an important part of a balanced diet. ~
~ The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. ~
~ If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies ~
~ Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat. ~
~ Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching. ~
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