Cruelty would be delicious if one could only find some sort of cruelty that didn't really hurt.
Gardening is the only unquestionably useful job.
A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education
When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport; when a tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity.
A drama critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.
People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.
All evolution in thought and conduct must at first appear as heresy and misconduct.
The Jews generally give value. They make you pay; but they deliver the goods. In my experience the men who want something for nothing are invariably Christians.
A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.
Miracles, in the sense of phenomena we cannot explain, surround us on every hand: life itself is the miracle of miracles.
My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.
Every doctor will allow a colleague to decimate a whole countryside sooner than violate the bond of professional etiquette by giving him away.
People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them
Would the world ever have been made if its maker had been afraid of making trouble? Making life means making trouble.
There are no secrets better kept than the secrets everybody guesses.