GEORGE CARLIN Quotes

And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats.

George Carlin

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

George Carlin

There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting

George Carlin

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

George Carlin

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

George Carlin

Regarding jam sessions: Jazz musicians are the only workers I can think of who are willing to put in a full shift for pay and then go somewhere else and continue to work for free.

George Carlin

I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

George Carlin

Weather forecast for tonight:† dark

George Carlin

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.†

George Carlin

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

George Carlin

I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep

GEORGE CARLIN

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.†

George Carlin

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

George Carlin

How come when it\' us, it\'s an abortion, and when it\'s a chicken, it\'s an omelette?

George Carlin

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