Garrison Keillor Quotes

You taught me to be nice, so nice that now I am so full of niceness, I have no sense of right and wrong, no outrage, no passion.

Garrison Keillor

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

Garrison Keillor

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

Garrison Keillor

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.

Garrison Keillor

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming

Garrison Keillor

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

Garrison Keillor

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose

Garrison Keillor

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Garrison Keillor

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn

Garrison Keillor

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

Garrison Keillor

Liberalism is dead, so dead that Democrats have all become moderate Republicans, and the heavy hand of Big Government is now limp and damp and trembly.

GARRISON KEILLOR

The father of a daughter is nothing but a high-class hostage. A father turns a stony face to his sons, berates them, shakes his antlers, paws the ground, snorts, runs them off into the underbrush, but when his daughter puts her arm over his shoulder and says, 'Daddy, I need to ask you something,' he is a pat of butter in a hot frying pan.

Garrison Keillor

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