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George Carlin Quotes
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I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.



Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.



Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.



Regarding jam sessions: Jazz musicians are the only workers I can think of who are willing to put in a full shift for pay and then go somewhere else and continue to work for free.



I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.



Weather forecast for tonight:† dark



Weather forecast for tonight: dark.†



Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.



I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep



Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.†



Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.



The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.








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