Henny Youngman Quotes

My wife is a light eater. As soon as it is light, she starts to eat.

Henny Youngman

My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.

Henny Youngman

What is a home without children? Quiet.

Henny Youngman

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

Henny Youngman

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up -- they have no holidays.

Henny Youngman

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Henny Youngman

Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!"

Henny Youngman

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman wholl give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means youre in the wrong house, thats what it means.

Henny Youngman
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