Free speech is too dangerous to a democracy to be permitted.
The only really happy folk are married women and single men.
A sense of humor always withers in the presence of the messianic delusion, like justice and truth in front of patriotic passion.
History deals mainly with captains and kings, gods and prophets, exploiters and despoilers, not with useful men.
Complete masculinity and stupidity are often indistinguishable.
A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.
The idea that the sole aim of punishment is to prevent crime is obviously grounded upon the theory that crime can be prevented, which is almost as dubious as the notion that poverty can be prevented.
The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.
In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat.
Correct spelling, indeed, is one of the arts that are far more esteemed by schoolma'ams than by practical men, neck-deep in the heat and agony of the world.
If you want peace, work for justice.
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
The worst government is the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.