I hate grate talkers; i had rather hav a swarm of bees lite onto me.
I dont never hav enny trouble in regulating mi own kondukt, but tew keep other pholks straight iz what bothers me.
I think that a hen who undertakes tew lay 2 eggs a day must necessarily neglekt sum other branch ov bizzness.
Giv every one you meet, my boy, the time ov day and halff the road, and if that dont make him civil dont waste enny more fragrance on the cuss.
The man who kan ware a paper collar a hole week and keap, it klean, aint fit for enny thing else.
Thare iz sich a thing az being alwus too quick--i am one ov that kind miself, i alwus miss a rale rode train bi being thare a haff an our too soon.
There iz only one good substitute for the endearments ov a sister, and that iz the endearments ov sum other pheller's sister.
I don't rekoleckt now ov ever hearing ov two dogs fiteing unless thare waz a man or two around.
Thare iz a grate deal ov charity in this world so koldly rendered that it fairly hurts, it iz like lifting a drowning man out ov the water bi the hair ov the hed, and then letting him drop on the ground.
Menny people spend their time trieing tew find the hole whare sin got into this world--if two men brake through the ice into a mill pond, they had better hunt for sum good hole tew git out, rather than git into a long argument about the hole they cum tew fall in.
Too mutch religion iz wuss than none at all. Yu kant sho me a kuntry that haz existed yet, whare the people, all ov them, professed one religion and persekuted all other kinds, but what the religion ruined the country.
Truth dont require the aid ov elegant and high stepping words, tew express its force, or buty, it iz like water, tastes better out ov a wooden bucket, than it duz out ov a golden goblet.
Them folks who are sudden, aint apt tew be solid; lively streams are alwus shallow.
Mankind loves misterys--a hole in the ground, excites mor wonder than a star in the heavens.
Men are often praized for their sagassity, but all the fore sight in the world kant tell a dubble yelked egg untill it itz broken.