Virtue has never been as respectable as money
The man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled
Time and tide wait for no man. A pompous and self-satisfied proverb, and was true for a billion years; but in our day of electric wires and water-ballast we turn it around: Man waits not for time nor tide.
The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.
Humor is tragedy plus time
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
A classic is a book which people praise and don't read.
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.