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Stephen Wright Quotes
Hope your Birthday gently breezes into your life all the choicest of things and all that your heart holds dear Have A Fun- Filled Day.



I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day 'cause that means it's gonna be up all night.



I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol



I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography



I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every once in a while I turn it on and off. On and off. On and off. One day I got a call from a woman in France who said "Cut it out!



Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.



Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'.



I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol



My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.



I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography



If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?








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