Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
It takes a minute to like someone, an hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget someone
I have a very firm grasp on reality! I can reach out and strangle it any time!
A good book on your shelf is a friend that turns its back on you and remains a friend.
A dirty book is rarely dusty.
Stress: The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it
A genius is one who shoots at something no one else can see - and hits it.
If the human brain were simple enough to understand, we'd be so simple we couldn't.
Character is what you know you are, not what others think you have.
A mediocre idea that generates enthusiasm will go further than a great idea that inspires no one.
Time wastes our bodies and our wits, but we waste time, so we are quits.
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.
A sister is a gift from God, sent from above to make life worthwhile here below.
Luck has a peculiar habit of favoring those who don't depend on it.