Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live
I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
Horse sense is a good judgement which keeps horses from betting on people.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink; that is the one thing I am indebted to her for.
How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
A woman drove me to drink, and I'll be a son-of-a-gun but I never even wrote to thank her.