All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.
We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game -- it, and high taxes
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you
Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has
Golf is a wonderful exercise. You can stand on your feet for hours, watching somebody else putt
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf will. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you can get so sore at yourself that you forget to hate you enemies.
You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.
A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles.
You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war, they kill you in a new way.