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Woody Allen Quotes
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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.



When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.



I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.



Death is a state of non-being. That which is not, does not exist. Therefore death does not exist. Only truth exists. Truth and beauty. Each is interchangeable, but are aspects of themselves. Er, what specifically did they say they had in mind for me?



More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.



Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.



Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.



My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.



If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.



Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.



Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.



I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying



When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back



I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.



Paranoia is knowing all the facts.








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