Woody Allen Quotes

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

Woody Allen

If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.

Woody Allen

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Woody Allen

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

Woody Allen

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying

Woody Allen

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back

Woody Allen

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.

Woody Allen

Paranoia is knowing all the facts.

Woody Allen

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Woody Allen

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers

Woody Allen

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.

Woody Allen

When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty

Woody Allen

When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty

Woody Allen

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Woody Allen

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Woody Allen

Human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun.

Woody Allen
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