Woody Allen Quotes

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

Woody Allen

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

Woody Allen

I don't believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Woody Allen

Tradition is the illusion of permanence.

Woody Allen

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Woody Allen

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

Woody Allen

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman.

Woody Allen

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

Woody Allen

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.

Woody Allen

If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.

Woody Allen

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Woody Allen

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

Woody Allen

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying

Woody Allen

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back

Woody Allen

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