Woody Allen Quotes

A lot of things have happened in my private life recently that I thought we could review tonight.

Woody Allen

The most beautiful words in the English language aren't "I love you" but "it's benign."

Woody Allen

You have no values. With you it's all nihilism, cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm. Hey, in France I could run for office with that slogan, and win!

Woody Allen

No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.

Woody Allen

...years of insanity have made this guy crazy!

Woody Allen

I'd rather she grew up here than grew up as an orphan, you know I can tolerate anybody's orphans but my own.

Woody Allen

I bought her this handkerchief... and I didn't even know her size.

Woody Allen

What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!

Woody Allen

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