Woody Allen Quotes
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.



I think crime pays. The hours are good, you meet a lot of interesting people, you travel a lot.



Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!



I have also reviewed my own financial obligations, which have puffed up recently like a hammered thumb.



A lot of things have happened in my private life recently that I thought we could review tonight.



The most beautiful words in the English language aren't "I love you" but "it's benign."



You have no values. With you it's all nihilism, cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm. Hey, in France I could run for office with that slogan, and win!



Hey, I may hate myself, but not because I'm Jewish.



No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.



...years of insanity have made this guy crazy!



I'd rather she grew up here than grew up as an orphan, you know I can tolerate anybody's orphans but my own.



I bought her this handkerchief... and I didn't even know her size.



What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!








A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z