Quotes from the Movie A Few Good Men

This is a sales pitch. It's not going to be won by the law, it's going to be won by the lawyers.

Lt. Daniel Kaffee

Whatever happened to saluting an officer when he leaves the room?

Lt. Daniel Kaffee

Oh, now I see what you're saying! It had to be Professor Plum, in the library, with the candlestick!

Lt. Daniel Kaffee

We have softball games and marching bands. They work at a place where you have to wear camouflage or you might get shot!

Lt. Daniel Kaffee

Oh, spare me the psychobabble father bullshit.

Lt. Daniel Kaffee

That's a relief! I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to use the 'liar, liar, pants-on-fire' defense.

Lt. Daniel Kaffee

Maybe if we work at it we can get Dawson charged with the Kennedy assassination.

Lt. Daniel Kaffee

Why does a Lieutenant junior grade with a track record for plea bargains get handed a murder case? Could it be so it never sees the inside of a courtroom?

Lt. Daniel Kaffee

The only thing I have to eat is Yoohoo and Cocoa Puffs, so if you want anything else bring it with you.

Lt. Daniel Kaffee

I'm sorry, I keep forgetting. You were sick the day they taught law at law school!

Lt. Daniel Kaffee

He eats breakfast three hundred yards away from four thousand Cubans who are trained to kill him and no one's going to tell him how to run his unit, least of all the Harvard mouth in his faggoty white uniform.

Lt. Daniel Kaffee

And the hits just keep on comin'.

Lt. Daniel Kaffee

Is the Colonel's underwear a matter of national security?

Lt. Daniel Kaffee

You don't need to wear a patch on your arm to have honor.

Lt. Daniel Kaffee

So this is what a courtroom looks like.

Lt. Daniel Kaffee

Now, is that 0600 in the morning, sir?

Lt. Daniel Kaffee

She has no point. She often has no point. It's part of her charm.

Lt. Daniel Kaffee

I'm pacing myself.

Lt. Daniel Kaffee

Walk softly and carry an armored tank division, I always say.

Col. Nathan R. Jessep

I run my unit how I run my unit. You want to investigate me, roll the dice and take your chances. I eat breakfast three hundred yards away from four thousand Cubans who are trained to kill me. So don't think for one second that you can come down here, flash a badge, and make me nervous.

Col. Nathan R. Jessep

There is nothing on this earth sexier, believe me, gentlemen, than a woman you have to salute in the morning. Promote 'em all, I say, because this is true - if you haven't gotten a blow-job from a superior officer, well, you're just letting the best in life pass you by. 'Course, my problem is, I'm a colonel, so I guess I'll just have to keep taking cold showers until one of you gals is elected president.

Col. Nathan R. Jessep

I'd like to request that it be I am who assigned . . . that it be I who am assigned? That's great. That's confidence-inspiring. Good grammar there.

Lt. Cdr. JoAnne Galloway

In short, Captain, I'd like to suggest that I be the one who that... that it be me who is assigned to represent them... myself.

Lt. Cdr. JoAnne Galloway

Are you going to do any actual investigating, or are you just going to take the guided tour?

Lt. Cdr. JoAnne Galloway

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