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Captain's Log, stardate 23.9, rounded off to the… nearest decimal point. We've… traveled back in time to save an ancient species from… total annihilation. SO FAR… no… signs of aquatic life anywhere, but I'm going to find it. If I have to tear this universe another black hole, I'm going to find it. I've… GOT TO, MISTER!~
Ace Ventura~
This is double-paned sound-proof glass. There is no way that neighbor could've heard Roger Podacter scream on the way down with that door shut. The scream she heard came from inside the apartment before he was thrown over the balcony and the murderer closed the door before he left. Yes! Yes! Oh, yeah! Can ya feel that, buddy?! Huh?! Huh?! Huh?! I have exorcised the demons. This house is clear. LOSERS! Leh-hoo. Zeh-hers!~
Ace Ventura~
Good evening Captain Stubing. How are Gopher and Doc? Permission to come aboard sir?~
Ace Ventura~
If I'm not back in five minutes...just wait longer.~
Ace Ventura~
Do NOT go in there! WOOOO!~
Ace Ventura~
I'm in Psychoville, and Finkle's the mayor.~
Ace Ventura~
Whew… now I feel better. 'Course, that might not do any good; you see nobody's missing a porpoise. It's a dolphin that's been taken. The common harbor porpoise has an abrupt snout, pointed teeth and a triangular thoracic fin, while the bottlenose dolphin, or Tursiops truncatus, has an elongated beak, round cone shaped teeth and a serrated dorsal appendage. But I'm sure you already knew that. That's what turns me on about 'cha, your attention to detail.~
Ace Ventura~
Einhorn is Finkle. Finkle is Einhorn. Einhorn is a man! Oh, my god! Einhorn is a man?!~
Ace Ventura~
If the lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to be, then she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have ever seen! That's why Roger Podacter was murdered! He found Captain Winky!~
Ace Ventura~
That's not Snowflake!~
Ace Ventura~
I just can't do it Captain! I don't have the POWER!~
Ace Ventura~
I'm ready to go in, Coach, just give me a chance. I know there's a lot riding on it, but it's all psychological. Just gotta stay in a positive frame of mind. I'm going to execute a button-hook pattern, Super SlowMo.~
Ace Ventura~
Three fifty-one! Three fifty-one! Rover, SIT! HUT! HUT!~
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This page contains quotes from the movie Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.
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