Quotes from the Movie Airplane II: The Sequel

And how about the time we hopped in the family car and drove all the way to Woodstock?

Mr. Hammen

Oh, that was a time. You got hold of that bad acid and didn't come down for two weeks. You keep telling everyone that you were Jesus Christ and then you jumped off a roof 'cause you thought you could fly!

Mrs Hammen

We're not in the past or the present anymore, Elaine. This... is the FUTURE.

Ted Striker

Don't worry about the Viatex account, we have a buy and sell option; we can't get hurt in either case.

Businessman #1

Just keep in touch with their legal people, Bob.

Businessman #2

Yes, his name is Scraps, and he's going to the moon with us.

Jimmy Wilson

Our Top Story Tonight: Four Alarm Fire Rages Through Downtown Buffalo. Also in the news, Lunar Shuttle heads for the Sun, and certain disaster.

Buffalo Anchorman

Our Top Story Tonight: Four Alarm Fire Rages Through Downtown Tokyo. Also in the news, American Lunar Shuttle Locked In Death Struggle.

Tokyo Anchorman

A Four-alarm fire in Downtown Moscow clears way for a glorious new tractor factory. And on the lighter side of the news, Hundreds of Capitalists are soon to perish in Shuttle disaster.

Moscow Anchorman

Do you swear on the Constitution of the United States to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?


Listen good. That thing is bound to come apart on you at that speed, and that's no good! It's got to be in one piece when you land on the moon! You know damn well that that warp drive has never been tested! [stabs his cigarette into the left hand of the controller sitting next to him] You're putting yourself and everybody else on that ship in jeopardy!

Steve McCroskey

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