Quotes from the Movie Airplane

Airport management, the FAA and the airlines. They're all cheats and liars. All right, lets get outta here.

Kramer

Off to the tower? Rapunzel! Rapunzel!

Johnny

Mayday? Why that's the Russian New Year. You know, we'll have a big parade, we'll serve hot hor'doevres...

Johnny

MCrosky : Johnny, what can you make outta this? (hands him a piece of paper) Johnny : This? Why I could make a hat, or a brooch, a pterodactyl. . .

Johnny

Reporter : What kind of plane is it? Johnny : Oh its a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the window and wheels. It looks like a big tylenol.

Johnny

MCrosky : Bad news, the fog is getting thicker. Johnny : And Leon's getting laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrger.

Johnny

Towergy : (holding up a newspaper) Captain, look at this! MCrosky : Passengers certain to die! Kramer : Airline negligent. Johnny : There's a sale at Penny's!

Johnny

MCrosky : Alright, I'll need 3 men up in the tower. You Newbower, you Maceias. . . Johnny : Me John! Big tree.

Johnny

All right, give me Hamm on five, hold the Mayo!

Capt. Oveur

Joey, did ya ever hang around a gymnasium?

Capt. Oveur

Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

Capt. Oveur

Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

Capt. Oveur

Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

Capt. Oveur

They bought their tickets. They knew what they were getting in to. I say, let 'em crash!

Talk Show Guest

Cut me som' slac' jak! Chump don' wan' no help, chump don' git no help. Jive ass dude don' got no brains anyhow.

Passenger