This page contains quotes from the movie All That Jazz. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie All That Jazz
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It's showtime, folks!
send an e card Joe Gideon


Sometimes, I don't know where the bullshit ends and the truth begins.
send an e card Joe Gideon


If I die, I'm sorry for all the things I did to you. And if I live, I'm sorry for all the things I'm gonna do to you.
send an e card Joe Gideon


Do you supposed Stanley Kubrick ever gets depressed.
send an e card Joe Gideon


Stop smiling! Lay back! Lay back! Hold it, hold it, hold it. Candy, Casey, very good. You're gonna do it again, Victoria. Gary, Danny, let's go. Stop smiling, it's not the high school play. Count! Hold it. [to Victoria] Stand on your right foot. Point your left toe. Drop the shoulder. Now, that's not too hard, is it? Again!
send an e card Joe Gideon


The pain is gone. I'm OK. Nothing wrong with me, a rewite of the show wouldn't cure. A couple of good jokes is what I need.
send an e card Joe Gideon


Hey, at least I won't have to lie to you anymore.
send an e card Joe Gideon


Ladies and gentleman, let me lay on you a so-so entertainer, not much of a humanitarian, and this cat was never nobody's friend. In his final appearance on the great stage of life - uh, you can applause if you want to - Mr. Joe Gideon!
send an e card O Connor Flood


Give it to me! Bye bye life, Bye bye happiness, hello loneliness, I think he's gonna die. Bye bye life, Bye bye happiness, Hello emptiness, I think he's gonna die. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Goodbye your life, goodbye.
send an e card O Connor Flood


You see, Sammy, in California everybody needs a car. I got a friend who bought a Mercedes just to get to the bathroom.
send an e card Audrey Paris


This chick, man, without the benefit of dying herself, has broken down the process of death into five stages: anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Sounds like a Jewish law firm. "Good morning, Angerdenialbargainingdepressionacceptance!"
send an e card Davis Newman


There's all this bullshit with dignity. You know what death with dignity is, man? You don't drool.
send an e card Davis Newman


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