This page contains quotes from the movie Almost Heroes. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie Almost Heroes
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Look at me. I'm going to make an experiment.
Pratt


Permission to check on the condition of my woman, sir? I wanna check on her bandages and see if she can keep some food down.
Pratt


Mr. President, we have to give bears the right to vote... or bears will rise up and then BEARS will be in congress and we will be the ones performing in the circus, wearing little hats.
Edwards


I hope Satan himself burns the flesh from your miserable bones.
Lady


I name this here fork "Pittsburgh Nellie"; a Welsh whore who could do things with her one good arm that'd make you forget that *thing* on her neck.
Hunt


I suspect that you'll want to lead a hunting party to slay that terrible beast.
Bidwell


Well, yes, that thought did cross my mind briefly. But now I have a better idea.
Edwards


Rest assured, Bidwell, in 20 years or so, the ravages of old age will deal with the bear far more cruelly than we ever could have.
Edwards


Well, I don't know what's worse. The bear or my itchy nose.
Bidwell


What I remembered the most were the animals.
Hunt


Fearsome beasts of the mountains and plains. I've seen a bear so powerful... that it *snapped* a man's body in half with his huge jaws. Garrgghh! Garrgghh! I've seen a badger with paws as big as frying pans. And that'd rip your face right off! Right off! Nothing you can do with that! Just rip it off! Once there was a hawk that swooped down from the sky... Aggghhh! Aggghhh! Aggghhh! And plucked a man's eyeballs out of his sockets. Auuuggghhh! Auuuggghhh! The fella was screaming, "I'm blind! I can't see!" *Twice* when I was fishing...
Hunt