Quotes from the Movie American Splendor

I ain't no super hero, lady. I'm just a kid from the neighborhood, all right?

Young Harvey

Avoid the reeking herd! Shun the polluted flock! Live like that stoic bird, the eagle of the rock!" You know what that means, son?

Mr. Boats

Yeah. It's from an Elinor Hoyt Wylie poem. It means stay away from the crowds of common ordinary people and do your own thing.

Harvey

Nope, it means don't compromise yourself for women. Ain't gonna do you no good. Get away from them as soon as you can!

Mr. Boats

Well, I ain't got no woman now. So I'm living like the stoic bird, man.

Harvey

The only way to live, son.

Mr. Boats

I've had enough bad experiences and growth to last me plenty...Right now, I'd be glad to trade some growth for happiness.

Harvey

You turned yourself into a comic hero?

Crumb

I recommend the piŅa coladas. They are excellent and very authentic tasting.

Toby

You know, you should try believing in something bigger than yourself. It might cheer you up.

Toby

So how smart is she?

Mattress Guy 1

I don't know. I guess she's about average.

Mattress Guy 2

Average? Hey, man. Average is dumb!

Mattress Guy 1

Why does everything in my life have to be such a complicated disaster?!

Joyce

Man, she's got good looking handwriting.

Harvey

Hi, Harvey. We finally meet in person.

Joyce

Hiya. Look, before we get started with any of this, you might as well know right off the bat. I had a vasectomy.

Harvey

I guess I have a lot of borderline health disorders that limit me politically when it comes to eating.

Joyce

Harvey, go get me water and a few aspirin.

Joyce

What, you got a headache?

Harvey

No, but I want to avoid one.

Joyce

Harvey, we better skip this whole courtship thing and just get married.

Joyce

Yes, I consider myself a nerd. And this movie has uplifted me.

Toby

Look Toby, the guys in that movie are not 28 year-old file clerks who live with their grandmothers in an ethnic ghetto...They didn't get their computers like you did, by trading in a bunch of box tops and $49.50 at the supermarket...Sure, go to the movies and daydream, but "Revenge of the Nerds" ain't reality. It's just Hollywood bullsh*t.

Harvey

People Also Viewed

All the Kings Men Quotes

Quote of the Day

Social Media
Our Partners