This page contains quotes from the movie American Splendor. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.




Quotes from the movie American Splendor
1
~ Hi, Harvey. We finally meet in person.~
send an e card Joyce


~ Hiya. Look, before we get started with any of this, you might as well know right off the bat. I had a vasectomy.~
send an e card Harvey


~ I guess I have a lot of borderline health disorders that limit me politically when it comes to eating.~
send an e card Joyce


~ Harvey, go get me water and a few aspirin.~
send an e card Joyce


~ What, you got a headache?~
send an e card Harvey


~ No, but I want to avoid one.~
send an e card Joyce


~ Harvey, we better skip this whole courtship thing and just get married.~
send an e card Joyce


~ Yes, I consider myself a nerd. And this movie has uplifted me.~
send an e card Toby


~ Look Toby, the guys in that movie are not 28 year-old file clerks who live with their grandmothers in an ethnic ghetto...They didn't get their computers like you did, by trading in a bunch of box tops and $49.50 at the supermarket...Sure, go to the movies and daydream, but "Revenge of the Nerds" ain't reality. It's just Hollywood bullsh*t.~
send an e card Harvey


~ I'll have you know that I come from a very dysfunctional family. I can spot personality disorders a mile away.~
send an e card Joyce


~ Megalomaniac.~
send an e card Joyce


~ It seemed that real, salt of the earth people like Toby and me were being co-opted by these huge corporations. We were getting held up and ridiculed as losers in the system. What can I say, it was the '80s, man.~
send an e card Real Harvey


~ Hamburgers are a safer addiction than drugs. Say no to drugs. Say yes to White Castle.~
send an e card Toby


~ Yeah, I know I'm not as interesting as The Little Mermaid and all that magical crap.~
send an e card Harvey


~ Joyce is right. You are obsessive-compulsive.~
send an e card Danielle





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