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Hi, Harvey. We finally meet in person.~
Joyce~
Hiya. Look, before we get started with any of this, you might as well know right off the bat. I had a vasectomy.~
Harvey~
I guess I have a lot of borderline health disorders that limit me politically when it comes to eating.~
Joyce~
Harvey, go get me water and a few aspirin.~
Joyce~
What, you got a headache?~
Harvey~
No, but I want to avoid one.~
Joyce~
Harvey, we better skip this whole courtship thing and just get married.~
Joyce~
Yes, I consider myself a nerd. And this movie has uplifted me.~
Toby~
Look Toby, the guys in that movie are not 28 year-old file clerks who live with their grandmothers in an ethnic ghetto...They didn't get their computers like you did, by trading in a bunch of box tops and $49.50 at the supermarket...Sure, go to the movies and daydream, but "Revenge of the Nerds" ain't reality. It's just Hollywood bullsh*t.~
Harvey~
I'll have you know that I come from a very dysfunctional family. I can spot personality disorders a mile away.~
Joyce~
Megalomaniac.~
Joyce~
It seemed that real, salt of the earth people like Toby and me were being co-opted by these huge corporations. We were getting held up and ridiculed as losers in the system. What can I say, it was the '80s, man.~
Real Harvey~
Hamburgers are a safer addiction than drugs. Say no to drugs. Say yes to White Castle.~
Toby~
Yeah, I know I'm not as interesting as The Little Mermaid and all that magical crap.~
Harvey~
Joyce is right. You are obsessive-compulsive.~
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This page contains quotes from the movie American Splendor. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.
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