This page contains quotes from the movie American Wedding. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie American Wedding
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You hooked up with one other girl for what, ten seconds and you passed up sex with Nadia, f*^"ing stupid. You're like a blind man picking out his favorite porno.
Steve Stifler


It's on like Donkey Kong, biotch.
Steve Stifler


My dick looks like a corn dog and I've got cake all over my balls.
Steve Stifler


Hey, Finch, what's the capital of Thailand? Bang-cock.
Steve Stifler


Well polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake.
Steve Stifler


If you'll excuse me, I have some shit to attend to.
Steve Stifler


Wow, Steve Stifler just gave a rose to a girl and meant it. It's like, monkeys learning to use tools for the first time.
Michelle Flaherty


Love isn't just a feeling. It's shaving your balls.
Michelle Flaherty


Jim, I had trouble finding the words to tell you how I feel. And I realized something. Love isn't just a feeling. Love is something you do. It's a dress, a visit to band camp. A special haircut. Jim, you've given me everything I ever wanted, and it is my solemn vow to give everything I am to you.
Michelle Flaherty


Love life, get paid, then get laid. That is the basic philosophy of... The Finch-meister!
Paul Finch


Son, step away from the animal...
Jim's Dad