Quotes from the Movie American Pie

She called me and asked for my number.

Steve Stifler

Vicky. Jessica. [walking away] Bitches!

Steve Stifler

Well, polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake, haha.

Steve Stifler

I would like to make an announcement. There is a beautiful woman masturbating on my bed.

Jim

I would like to make an announcement. There is a beautiful woman masturbating on my bed.

Jim

You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.

Jim

She's gone! Oh my God, she used me. I was used. I was used! Cool!

Jim

have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of [hesitates] masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it stroking the salami, yeah, you know, pounding the old pud. [pause] I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day.

Jims Dad

Well, they're safer than a tube sock...

Jims Dad

We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.

Jims Dad

to Jim] Now, do you know what a clitoris is?

Jims Dad

God bless the Internet.

Finch

I am The Sherminator. I'm a sophisticated sex robot sent back through time, to change the future for one lucky lady.

Chuck Sherman

I don't want any of you boys thinking that you're gonna score. You don't score, until you score!

Coach Marshall

Go trig boy, it's your birthday.

Garage Band Member

I believe "shaved" is the expression.

Nadia

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