The Human Torch was denied a bank loan.
[looking at his reflection in the mirror] Mmmmm... I look good. I mean really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!
I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Mmm, mmm, mmm. Here it goes down, down into my belly.
I'm Ron Burgundy. You stay classy, San Diego.
Come again? You know I don't speak Spanish. In English, please. What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? I'm not even mad, that's amazing.
You know how to cut to the core of me, Baxter. You're so wise. Like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.
The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show [kisses his biceps] and see if she likes the goods.
If you want to throw down in fisticuffs, fine, I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary waitin' for ya...right here!
I'm in a glass case of emotion!
I'm proud of you fellas. You all kept your head on a swivel, and that's what you gotta do when you find yourself thrust into the middle of vicious cockfight.
I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.
It's so damn hot! Milk was a bad choice...
Knights of Columbus, that hurt!
By the beard of Zeus!
By the Hammer of Thor!
Great Odin's raven!
Son of a bee sting!
Is that you, Baxter? Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee. Is this Wilt Chamberlain?
[after jumping into the kodiak bear pit at the San Diego Zoo] I immediately regret this decision.
[after the rest of the team state their opposition to his dating Veronica Corningstone] I know that one day we will be married on top of a mountain, and there's going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance... until the sun rises! And then our children will form a family band, and we will tour the countryside and you won't be invited!
[singing] Oh, Baxter, you are my little gentleman. I'll take you to foggy London town, because you are what? My little gentleman. [stops singing] Mmm, this burrito is delicious, but it is filling. [[throws burrito out the window, where it hits a man on a motorcycle]
Oop... I almost forgot. I won't be able to make it, fellas. Veronica and I trying this new fad called, uh, jogging. I believe it's 'jogging' or 'yogging.' it might be a soft j. I'm not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time. It's supposed to be wild.
I'm going to punch you in the ovary. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.
I'm going to shoot you with a BB gun. Yep, back of the head.
You woke the bears! Why did you do that?