Grab a brew. Don't cost nothin'.
Thanks, I needed that.
Dorfman! What kind of man hits a defenseless animal? I've got a good mind to smash your fat face. Listen up, you nauseating pile of blubber. Your days are numbered at Faber. You and all your sick Delta buddies. Meantime, your ass belongs to me. Now, drop and give me 20.
Eric Stratton, rush chairman. Damn glad to meet you.
Now wait a minute! Okay, this guy is a real zero. That's true. Think back to when you were freshmen. Boon, you had a face like a pepperoni pizza, right? And Stork here. Everybody thought that Stork was brain damaged. I myself was so obnoxious the seniors beat me up once a week. So this guy is a total loser? Let me tell you the story of another loser.
Greg, look at my thumb. [Gregg looks at Otter's thumb. Otter punches Gregg in the face] Gee, you're dumb.
You guys playing cards?
May I have ten thousand marbles, please?
Oh, boy, is this great!!
[Meeting Larry and Kent for the first time] A wimp and a blimp!
Greg, honey, is it supposed to be this soft?
This year we're going to take the bull by the balls and kick those punks off campus. The time has come for somebody to put his foot down, and that foot ... is me.
...And Mr. Blu-- [looks up to see Bluto with pencils hanging out of his nose] Mr. Blutarsky. Zero...Point...Zero.
Mr. Dorfman. Zero point two. Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
You're out! Finished at Faber! Expelled! I want you off this campus - by 9:00 Monday morning! And l'm sure you'll be happy to know that I have notified your local draft boards and told them that you are now all... [smiles] ... all eligible for military service! [Flounder begins to quiver and choke] Well? [Flounder chokes some more] Well, out with it!! [vomiting sound]
I hate those guys.
[about Kent and Larry] A wimp and a blimp!
Otter, don't flatter yourself. It really wasn't that great.
We have an old saying in Delta House: don't get mad, get even.
[to the mayor] You can take your thumb out of my ass any time now, Carmine.
Do you mind if we dance with your dates?
Now, what can we say of John Milton's Paradise Lost? It's a long poem, written a long time ago, and I'm sure a lot of you have difficulty understanding exactly what Milton was trying to say. Certainly we know that he was trying to describe the struggle between good and evil, right? Okay. The most intriguing character, as we all know from our reading, was...Satan. Now was Milton trying to tell us that being bad was more fun than being good? [no response] OK, don't write this down, but I find Milton probably as boring as you find Milton. Mrs. Milton found him boring too. He's a little bit long-winded, he doesn't translate very well into our generation, and his jokes are terrible. [Bell rings, students rise to leave] But that doesn't relieve you of your responsibility for this material. Now I'm waiting for reports from some of you... Listen, I'm not joking. This is my job!
Dad! Mom, Dad, this is Larry Kroger. The boy who molested me last month. We have to get married.
Let's take the cheese.