This page contains quotes from the movie Army of Darkness. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.

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Quotes from the movie Army of Darkness
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~ My name is Ash and I am a slave. As far as I can tell, the year is 1300 A.D and I'm being dragged to my death. It wasn't always like this, I had a normal life, once. Hardware aisle twelve, shop smart, shop S-Mart! I had a wonderful girlfriend; Linda. Together we drove to a small cabin in the mountains. It seems an archaeologist had come to this remote place to translate and study his latest find: Necronomicon ex Mortis, the Book of the Dead. Bound in human flesh and inked in blood, this ancient Sumarrian text contained bizarre burial rites, funerary incantations and demon resurrection passages. It was never meant for the world of the living. The book awoke something dark in the woods. It took Linda, and then it came, for me. It got into my hand and it went bad, so I lopped it off at the wrist. But that didn't stop it. It came back. Big time. For God's sake! How do you stop it?!~
send an e card Ash


~ Give me some sugar, baby.~
send an e card Ash


~ Good... bad... I'm the guy with the gun.~
send an e card Ash


~ Alright... who wants some?~
send an e card Ash


~ Yo! She-bitch! Let's go.~
send an e card Ash


~ First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow.~
send an e card Ash


~ Don't touch that please. Your primitive intellect wouldn't understand alloys and compositions and... things with molecular structures and the-~
send an e card Ash


~ Keep your damn filthy bones outta my mouth.~
send an e card Ash


~ Alright, you primitive screw-heads, listen up! See this? This... is my boomstick! - It's a twelve-gauge, double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt-blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right... shop smart. Shop S-Mart... You got that?!!~
send an e card Ash


~ Now I swear the next one of you primates even touches me...~
send an e card Ash


~ KLAATU... VERATA... N--... necktie... nectar... nickel... it's an n-word, definitely an n-word... It's definitely an n-word.~
send an e card Ash


~ Shut the door! Were you raised in a barn?! ... probably was raised in a barn with all the other primitives...~
send an e card Ash


~ It's a trick. Get an axe.~
send an e card Ash


~ Maybe. Just maybe my boys can protect the book. Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot.~
send an e card Ash


~ Now whoa whoa whoa right there spinach chin!~
send an e card Ash


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