Quotes from the Movie Arsenic and Old Lace

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Mortimer Brewster

When I come back, I expect to find you gone. Wait for me!

Mortimer Brewster

You... Get out of here! D'ya wanna be poisoned? D'ya wanna be murdered? D'ya wanna be killed?

Mortimer Brewster

Stop underplaying, I can't hear you!

Mortimer Brewster

This is developing into a very bad habit! I don't know if I can explain it to you. It's not only against the law, it's wrong!

Mortimer Brewster

Even the cat's in on it!

Mortimer Brewster

Hello... Operator? Can you hear my voice? You can? Are you sure? Well, then I must not be dreaming.

Mortimer Brewster

Where did you get that face? Hollywood?

Mortimer Brewster

You wouldn't want to have children with three heads, would you? I mean, you wouldn't want to set up housekeeping in a padded cell. Oh, it would be bad.

Mortimer Brewster

There is a Happy Dale, far, far away...

Mortimer Brewster

Yes, operator, I'd like the Happy Dale Sanatorium, Happy Dale, New York. Come on, operator, what's taking so long? They're just across the river. I could swim it faster! No, I don't want the Happy Dale Laundry. I want the Happy Dale Sanatorium. Sanatorium, sanatorium, sanatorium. Yes, yes, like a broken record. Hello what? They're busy? Busy? Look, they're busy and you're dizzy. No, I am not drunk, madam, but you've given me an idea.

Mortimer Brewster

All I did was cross the bridge and I was in Brooklyn. Amazing.

Mortimer Brewster

Now, here's ten dollars. Why don't you be a good sport and go out and haunt yourself a hotel?

Mortimer Brewster

Pull up a tombstone!

Mortimer Brewster

Certainly there are thirteen bodies in the cellar and there are hundreds more in the attic!

Mortimer Brewster

Go on fight, fight. I don't care. Oh, don't do that. It never works. What do you know? it worked!

Mortimer Brewster

No, no. I'm not a Brewster. I'm the son of a sea-cook! Ha! Ha! Chaaaaarrrge!

Mortimer Brewster

We were married today. We were going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. Your brother tries to kill me. A taxi is waiting and now you want to sleep on a window seat. You can take the honeymoon, your wedding ring, your taxi, your window seat, and put 'em in a barrel and push 'em all over Niagara Falls!

Elaine Harper

We better not leave the car parked in the street; it might be against the law.

Jonathan Brewster

If you tell O'Hara what's in the window seat, I'll tell him what's in the cellar. There's an elderly gentleman down there who seems to be very dead.

Jonathan Brewster

This time, I want the face of an absolute non-entity!

Jonathan Brewster

The home of my youth... As a child, I wanted to escape it. Now, I want to escape back into it.

Jonathan Brewster

I shall be in my office vetoing some bills.

Teddy

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