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You know I'm a better cop when I get some in the morning, I feel lighter on my feet.
You know you drive almost slow enough to drive Miss Daisy.
I don't know why you going home to your wife. You got shot in the leg, your dick probably don't even work.
Now that's how you supposed to drive! From now on that's how you drive!
Marcus, I just have one question for ya bro. How the hell you gonna leave my ass at a gun fight to go get the car!
Ho, what did I say? Did you hear what I said? I heard what I said 'cause I was standing there when I said it.
Jesus. Could you use a smaller gun? You got blood on me again.
Until then, until then, you are Mike Lowrey, you be him, that's what you are, you're him.
You're him, I don't wanna hear it, you're him. And you, you're you, you be you, but not in front of her. You're him, you're you.
Oh, I see. You aren't gettin any at home, so you got a lot of extra energy. Go ahead, burn it off.
Naw man, naw. There's too much bass in your voice. That scares white folks. You got to sound like them. [In high pitched voice] We were wondering if we could borrow some brown sugar?
Now back up, put the gun down, and get me a pack of Tropical Fruit Bubblicious.
What the f--? What you mean you don't have one? Eighty thousand dollars for this car and you ain't got no damn cup holder?
It's $105,000 and this happens to be one of the fastest production cars on the planet. Zero to sixty in four seconds, sweetie. It's a limited edition.
That's flesh that you're shoveling into your mouth. You know, that was, like, a living, breathing creature. You know, it probably had a name.
My wife knows I ain't no bitch. I'm a bad boy.
You know what, I need to jump over this car and smack you in your peasy ass head that's what I need to do.
It's not about the french fry, it's about your lack of respect for other people's property!
I like it when a woman takes pride in her appearance. Don't you?
Yeah, I hate it when a bitch lets herself slide.
Let me tell you how bad a day you're having: right now you're jacking a couple of cops.
Oh, yeah? Well, I'm a stand-up comedian. And I suck! That's why I need your car.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can, and will be used against you in a court of law.
Please, man. Married life is easy. You only got one woman to satisfy.
And you don't even have your wedding ring on.
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