This page contains quotes from the movie Batman Returns. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie Batman Returns
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Odd as it may seem, Max, you and I have something in common. We're both perceived as monsters. But somehow, you're a well respected monster, and I am... to date... not.
send an e card The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot


Tragic irony or Poetic Justice? You tell me Max.
send an e card The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot


I was their number one son, and they treated me like number two! But it's human nature to fear the unusual.
send an e card The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot


Just the pussy I've been looking for.
send an e card The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot


You're beauty and the beast in one luscious Christmas gift pack.
send an e card The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot


Just relax. I'll take care of the squealing, wretched pinhead puppets of Gotham... You got to admit, I've played this stinking city like a harp from hell!
send an e card The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot


He didn't even lose a limb, an eyeball... bladder control!
send an e card The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot


Why is it that someone always brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech?!
send an e card The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot


They wouldn't put me on a pedestal, so I'm layin' 'em on a slab!
send an e card The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot


But what it all comes down to is, who's holding the umbrella?!
send an e card The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot


And you're the hottest young person a role model could have. Here, wear a button.
send an e card The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot


You didn't invite me, so I crashed!
send an e card The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot


AUGH! SHIT! I PICKED THE CUTE ONE... UGH, AGHH! This heat's gettin' to me... AUGH... I'll murder you momentarily... *chokes* But first, I need a cold drink of ice water... *falls over gurgling and choking, dead*
send an e card The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot


Wow! The Batman... or is it just Batman?
send an e card Catwoman/Selina Kyle


Honey, I'm home! Oh, I forgot. I'm not married.
send an e card Catwoman/Selina Kyle


How can you be so mean to someone so meaningless?
send an e card Catwoman/Selina Kyle


I don't know about you, Miss Kitty, but I feel so much... yummier.
send an e card Catwoman/Selina Kyle


I am Catwoman. Hear me roar. Meow.
send an e card Catwoman/Selina Kyle


You poor guys. Always confusing your pistols with your privates.
send an e card Catwoman/Selina Kyle


As I was saying I'm a woman and can't be taken for granted. Life's a bitch; now so am I.
send an e card Catwoman/Selina Kyle


How could you? I'm a woman!
send an e card Catwoman/Selina Kyle


Saved by kitty litter.
send an e card Catwoman/Selina Kyle


Did someone say fish? I haven't been fed all day.
send an e card Catwoman/Selina Kyle


Gotta go, girl talk!
send an e card Catwoman/Selina Kyle


It's always the so-called "normal" guys that let you down. Sickos never scare me. At least they're committed.
send an e card Catwoman/Selina Kyle


Oh god... does this mean we have to start fighting?
send an e card Catwoman/Selina Kyle


You killed me. The Penguin killed me. Batman killed me. Three lives down, you got enough in there to finish me off?!
send an e card Catwoman/Selina Kyle


Four....five...still alive!
send an e card Catwoman/Selina Kyle


Eat floor. High fiber.
send an e card Batman/Bruce Wayne


Merry Christmas, Alfred. Good will towards men... and women.
send an e card Batman/Bruce Wayne


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