You see the world through John Malkovich's eyes. Then after about 15 minutes, you're spit out into a ditch on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike!
Do you see what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is?
Nobody's looking for a puppeteer in today's wintry economic climate.
Do you have any idea what it's like to have two people look at you, with total lust and devotion, through the same pair of eyes?
Behind the stubble and the too-prominent brow and the male-pattern baldness... I sensed your feminine longing. And it just slew me.
Help! He's locking me in a cage!
Don't stand in the way of my actualization as a man.
I have been to the dark side. I have seen a world that no man should see.
That portal is mine, and it must be sealed forever.
It's my head, Schwartz! It's my head!
Truth is for suckers, Johnny Boy.
Maybe she's using you to channel some dead lesbian lover.
You're nuts to let a girl go that calls you Lotte, I tell you that as a friend.
Forever doomed to watch the world through someone else's eyes.