Quotes from the Movie Bend It Like Beckham

I didn't ask to be good at football, Guru Nanak must have blessed me.

Jess Bhamra

Anyone can cook aloo gobi, but who can bend a ball like Beckham?

Jess Bhamra

Me? Kissing? A boy? You're mad. You're all bloody mad.

Jess Bhamra

Mother, just because I wear trackies and play sports DOES NOT MAKE ME A LESBIAN!

Jules Paxton

Can't keep losing all my best players to the Yanks now can I?


'Your mum's a barrel of laughs compared to my dad.


Don't tell me. The offside rule is when the French mustard has to be between the teriyaki sauce and the sea salt.

Paula Paxton

You know Jesminder, I cooked a lovely curry the other day.

Paula Paxton

Do you not realise that you have a daughter with breasts?

Paula Paxton

All I'm saying is, there's a reason why Sporty Spice is the only one without a fella!

Paula Paxton

Get your lesbian feet out of my shoes!

Paula Paxton

Eyes down. Don't smile. Indian bride never smiles. You'll ruin the bloody video!

Wedding videographer

Don't worry, Miss Bahmra. Our designs will make even these little mosquito bites look like juicy, juicy mangoes!


Well you fancying your gorah coach is OK with me. Besides, he's quite fit!


Now do you want a clean-shaven boy like your sister, or a proper Sikh with full beard and turban?

Woman at Party

Lesbian? Her birthday's in March. I thought she was a Pisces.

Wedding Guest

Eyes down. Don't smile. Indian bride never smiles. You'll ruin the bloody video.

Video Man

At least I taught her full Indian dinner, the rest is up to God.

Mrs. Bhamra

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