I didn't ask to be good at football, Guru Nanak must have blessed me.
Anyone can cook aloo gobi, but who can bend a ball like Beckham?
Me? Kissing? A boy? You're mad. You're all bloody mad.
Mother, just because I wear trackies and play sports DOES NOT MAKE ME A LESBIAN!
Can't keep losing all my best players to the Yanks now can I?
'Your mum's a barrel of laughs compared to my dad.
Don't tell me. The offside rule is when the French mustard has to be between the teriyaki sauce and the sea salt.
You know Jesminder, I cooked a lovely curry the other day.
Do you not realise that you have a daughter with breasts?
All I'm saying is, there's a reason why Sporty Spice is the only one without a fella!
Get your lesbian feet out of my shoes!
Eyes down. Don't smile. Indian bride never smiles. You'll ruin the bloody video!
Don't worry, Miss Bahmra. Our designs will make even these little mosquito bites look like juicy, juicy mangoes!
Well you fancying your gorah coach is OK with me. Besides, he's quite fit!
Now do you want a clean-shaven boy like your sister, or a proper Sikh with full beard and turban?
Lesbian? Her birthday's in March. I thought she was a Pisces.
Eyes down. Don't smile. Indian bride never smiles. You'll ruin the bloody video.
At least I taught her full Indian dinner, the rest is up to God.