This page contains quotes from the movie Better Off Dead. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie Better Off Dead
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I know its bacon... but what have you done to it?!
Al Myer


Joanne Greenwald... the girl with the antennae on her face?
Lane Myer


I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.
Lane Myer


She only speaks French, Roy. She doesn't speak imbecile.
Lane Myer


Uh, my brother, this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave, and my grandmother, she dropped acid and freaked out and hijaked a schoolbus full of...penguins.
Lane Myer


I gotta go, the Christmas tree is on fire.
Lane Myer


I've been going to this high school for seven and a half years! I'm no dummy!
Charles de Mar


This mountain is made entirely out of snow... Do you know what the street value of this mountain is?
Charles de Mar


Dying when you're not really sick is really sick, you know. Really!
Charles de Mar


Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.
Charles de Mar


She doesn't date certain members of the basketball team: she dates the whole team!
Beth Truss


Two dollars!
Johnny Gasparini


I think all you need is a small taste of success, and you will find it suits you.
Monique Junot


Oscar Meyer!
Roy Stalin


Is Oscar here your main weiner man?
Roy Stalin


Man, that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that.
Tree Trimmer


I want my two dallors!!!
The Paper Boy


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