Quotes from the Movie Bill

Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K.

Ted

Now where are we, dude? Oh. It's my house.

Ted

Want a Twinkie, Genghis Khan?

Ted

You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed!

Bill

Oh, no thanks, I just have a slight Oedipal complex.

Bill

Shut up, Ted!

Bill

Hi. Welcome to the future: San Dimas, California --- 2688. And I'm telling you, it's great here. The air is clean, the water is clean, even the dirt is clean! Bowling averages are way up, minigolf scores are way down. And we have more excellent waterslides than any other planet we communicate with. I'm telling you, this place is great! But it almost wasn't. You see, 700 years ago, the Two Great Ones ran into a few problems. So now I have to travel back in time to help them out. If I should fail to keep these two along the correct path, the basis of our society will be endangered. Ah, but don't worry, it'll all make sense. I'm a professional.

Rufus

Gentlemen... we're history.

Rufus

They do get better.

Rufus

Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde!

Napoleon

It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."

Mr. Ryan

I demand einen lawyer.

Sigmund Freud

San Dimas High School football rules!!

Jock giving speech

Like sands of the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.

Socrates

Be excellent to each other. ...And... party on, dudes!

Abraham Lincoln

Party on dude.

Phone

Who was Joan of Arc?

Mr. Ryan

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