This page contains quotes from the movie Bill. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie Bill
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Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K.
Ted


Now where are we, dude? Oh. It's my house.
Ted


Want a Twinkie, Genghis Khan?
Ted


You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed!
Bill


Oh, no thanks, I just have a slight Oedipal complex.
Bill


Shut up, Ted!
Bill


Hi. Welcome to the future: San Dimas, California --- 2688. And I'm telling you, it's great here. The air is clean, the water is clean, even the dirt is clean! Bowling averages are way up, minigolf scores are way down. And we have more excellent waterslides than any other planet we communicate with. I'm telling you, this place is great! But it almost wasn't. You see, 700 years ago, the Two Great Ones ran into a few problems. So now I have to travel back in time to help them out. If I should fail to keep these two along the correct path, the basis of our society will be endangered. Ah, but don't worry, it'll all make sense. I'm a professional.
Rufus


Gentlemen... we're history.
Rufus


They do get better.
Rufus


Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde!
Napoleon


It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."
Mr. Ryan


I demand einen lawyer.
Sigmund Freud


San Dimas High School football rules!!
Jock giving speech


Like sands of the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.
Socrates


Be excellent to each other. ...And... party on, dudes!
Abraham Lincoln


Party on dude.
Phone


Who was Joan of Arc?
Mr. Ryan