This page contains quotes from the movie Billy Madison. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie Billy Madison
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I can see your lips moving, but I can't make out the words... I'm deaf! Oh, Veronica Vaughn... Sooo hot... Want to touch the hiney... AROOO-OO!
Billy Madison


It's nudie magazine day!
Billy Madison


He called the shit poop!
Billy Madison


Well, I could think of three things I'd like to do. One would involve some ice cubes and a nine iron. Two would involve a buffalo, live or stuffed, preferably stuffed for safety sake, and three, we bring back some of those ice cubes and switch it over to a pitching wedge.
Billy Madison


Well, I made the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before, and, to be honest with you, I wanted to see a blue duck.
Billy Madison


That's quacktastic!
Billy Madison


Is that it, Dad? Did the penguin tell you to do this?
Billy Madison


JUST DO IT!!!
Billy Madison


GIVE ME THE GODDAMN SNACKPACK!!!
Billy Madison


To...to...to...today junior
Billy Madison


Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school. Back to school. Well, here goes nothing.
Billy Madison


Shampoo is better; I go on first and clean the hair! Conditioner is better; I leave the hair silky and smooth! Oh, really, fool? Really! Stop looking at me, swan!
Billy Madison


Oh. I see how it is, sooo sorry to interupt.
Billy Madison


Yah aint cool unless..... Yah pee yah pants.
Billy Madison


All the kids in high school pee their pants- it's the coolest.
Billy Madison


Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Principal


Billy Madison
Principal


"A simple wrong would have done just fine"
Billy Madison


Hi, kids it's me! I bet you thought that I was dead! But when I fell over I just broke my leg and got a hemorrhage in my head! Ha Ha!
Clown


O'Doyle rules!
O'Doyle Family


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