A man drink like that and he don't eat, he is goin' to die!
Uh sir, sir. You specifically requested a 'ni-gger'?...Well, to tell a family secret--my grandmother was Dutch.
Well, don't just stand there looking stupid and holding your hands in pain. How 'bout a little applause for the Waco Kid?
See, I knew you wasn't no Waco Kid. You was just pullin' my lariat!
Hey, where all da white women at?
Baby, please, I'm not from Havana!
Well, my name's Jim. But most people call me... Jim.
I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille.
Well, you devious son of a bitch.
Then one day I heard "Reach for it, mister." I spun around, and there I was face to face with a six year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since.
What's a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic setting like this?
What did you expect? "Welcome, sonny"? "Make yourself at home"? "Marry my daughter?" You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know . . . morons.
Well, Mongo ain't exactly a "who", he's more of a "what".
No, no, don't shoot him - you'll only make him mad.
Maybe I could turn this thing into my advantage... if I could find a sheriff who so offends the citizens of Rock Ridge that his very appearance would drive them out of town. But where would I find such a man? ... Why am I asking you?
Where's my froggy?
Shut up, you Teutonic twat!!
You will merely be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost-certain Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor.
Taxi! Drive me off of this picture!
How did he do such terrific stunts... with such little feet?!
I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists!
What in the wide wide world of sports is a-goin' on here?! I hired you people to try to get a little track laid, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots!
Horses! We can't afford to lose no horses you dummy! Send a couple-a niggers.
Dang, that was lucky! God darn near lost a $400 handcart!