All the greatest anchors have had their signature sign-off, like Walter Cronkite. And that's the way it was. That's the way the cookie crumbles. That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh.
First off, let me just add another congratulations to Evan Backstabber... Pardon me, Bastard. Baxter, rather. It is good to see what someone with talent can do when great opportunities are given to them instead of me.
Just? Just get a clue!
Anyway, I'm here with Katharine Hepburn's mom. Tell me: Why did you throw the blue Heart of the Ocean jewel over the railing of the Titanic? Did you feel bad at all letting Leo DiCaprio drown while you were safe, floating on the big door? Could you have taken turns, or were you just too afraid to freeze your big fat ASS off?!
That is perfect! That is the motivation that I needed! Right there! Thank you. Thank you, WKBW! Wimpy Kiddy Baby Whiners! THAT'S WHAT THAT STANDS FOR! I'll see you on Channel 5, where they do the real news.
Fine! The gloves are off pal! C'mon, lemme see a little wrath! Smite me, O mighty smiter! You're the one who should be fired! The only one around here not doing his job is You! ANSWER ME!!!
You can't leave me! I'm the Alpha, lady! I'M THE OMEGA, BABY! Okay, fine, I don't need you!
Okay, You win. I'm done. Please, I don't wanna do this anymore. I don't wanna be God! I want You to decide what's right for me! I SURRENDER TO YOUR WILL!
I AM BRUCE ALMIGHTY! MY WILL BE DONE!
It's perfect. She'll love it.
Smite me oh mighty smiter!
Yahweh! You've got prayers.