This page contains quotes from the movie Clerks II. You can find more Alphabetized listing of films for which quotations are available in the index page. Thanks to the many celebrated and unheralded screenwriters who have provided these memorable movie quotes and lines of dialogue.


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Quotes from the movie Clerks II
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"Porch Monkey" is a racial slur against black people!
Dante Hicks


What'd you do that for? You realize he just thinks you're trying to get him into a threeway with us now, don't you?
Dante Hicks


You never go ass to mouth!
Dante Hicks


You ever see a chick give a mule a blowjob?
Randal Graves


Alright, look. There's only one Return, ok, and it ain't of the King, it's of the Jedi.
Randal Graves


It's cool. I'm taking it back.
Randal Graves


May your first child be a masculine child!
Randal Graves


My Grandmother wasn't racist...although she did once refer to a broken beer bottle as a "nigger knife".
Randal Graves


I'D BUY THE QUICK STOP AND RE-OPEN IT MYSELF!!! That's what I'd do!
Randal Graves


You're my best friend, and I love you...in a totally heterosexual way. Please don't leave me.
Randal Graves


Who would be friends with me? I hate everyone and everything seems stupid to me.
Randal Graves


I'm telling you this only because I am your friend. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it's forgivable to go ass to mouth.
Becky


I'm disgusted, and repulsed, and...I can't look away... (
Becky


Him is so cute! Him thinkin' again, huh?
Emma


That guy's being awfully forward with that donkey.
Jay


Did you know Jesus was a Jew?
Jay


If you're gonna jump let me have a crack at that pussy first.
Jay


I got nothin'.
Silent Bob


I just think you're a gay man in denial!
Silent Bob


I hope that donkey doesn't have a hiney troll!
Elias


What's sexier than an elf princess's sword?
Elias


At Bible Camp we made a flow chart. Since God created man, and man created the Transformers, the Transformers are like a gift from God, Randal!
Elias


Are you looking for a good transformers site? Because at cars2bots.com you can get an avatar of your picture morphed to look like a robot.
Elias


Well at least you spelled "cock" right this time.
Elias


Did Randal just call Mr. Dante a nigger?
Elias


I have a huge boner right now.
Elias


Don't look at his wee-wee.
Concerned Father


That's not very hygenic. That's all I'm gonna tell you.
Gawking Guy


Go-bots are like the K-Mart Transformers.
Lance Dowds


Randal Graves, you work here too? Jesus, anyone else from our graduating class back there?
Lance Dowds


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