Quotes from the Movie Dan in Real Life

I'm sorry. I was way, way out of line.

Dan

I think you'll understand when I--

Dan

The woman I met, at the book store--

Dan

Like it's right outside of your ribs.

Dan

And it feels exposed and vulnerable, wonderful and awful, and heartsick, and alive all at the same time.

Dan

No no no. This was the place with all of the shells, and the paper-mache shark!

Dan

Yeah, but...okay. Stick with me guys. Oh, I have an idea! Let's go bowling!

Dan

That's right, yes. And also because they help when it's dark out. They uh, help keep boats safe, and they help us from crashing into rocks. Because, when you're out there, and you're being tossed back and forth by those big dark waves, and you think that you'll never feel land again, and that you could just split into a million pieces, and just sink down all the way down into the deep, it's the light that keeps us on course. It's the light.

Dan

Stop reading my book, okay. Just stop.

Dan

And that salsa thing you do? You know, this thing? Can you just stop that? It would be very helpful to me. And another thing you can do is just not exist.

Dan

Yeah, I said it. I didn't mean it, but I said it. And you know what else I'm going to do? I am going to make myself less attractive. So as to not encourage any inappropriate feelings!

Dan

okay, that's hilarious. You know what, fine. I'm going to stop thinking about you.

Dan

I will. And if I start thinking about you, which may happen in a moment of...

Dan

Weakness! I am going to focus all of my thoughts on your flaws.

Dan

I have no idea. But you can rest assured that I will find them!

Dan

Well, I'm touched but, but, I'm fine.

Dan

So far what you've missed is; worried, love will find, unplug the drain. Well, thanks we are done!

Dan

Mom, I don't even remember Ruthy 'Pig-face' Draper. I don't wanna go! I don't want to go with...the...pig-face!

Dan

I'm filled with reckless desire.

Dan

What does that mean?

Dan

What about that sentence is supposed to give me comfort?

Dan

Infatuation is not love. Sexual attraction is not love.

Dan

What don't I understand, Cara? Please, help me out. What is it? Is it frustrating that you can't be with this person? That there's something keeping you apart, that there's something about this person that you really connect with? And when you're near this person, you don't know what to say, and you say everything in your mind and in your heart, and you know, that if you could just be together, that this person would help you become the best possible version of yourself?

Dan

Look, I'm not your parent, but I should warn you: love is a dangerous feeling.

Dan

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